Gossip Mill

Caitlin had always been happy at school with many friends. But when she was 9, Jenna, a classmate who was jealous of Caitlin's popularity, began waging a campaign to turn Caitlin's friends against her. Jenna took a girl’s purse and claimed Caitlin had stolen it. She falsely confided to another that Caitlin had been talking behind her back. Jenna convinced Caitlin's friends that Caitlin was a ‘loser’ because she was neither slim nor fashion-conscious. Consequently, they stopped inviting Caitlin to sleepovers.

The story of Caitlin was told by Elizabeth Hartley-Brewer in her article ‘Surviving the Rumor Mill’ at Scholastic.com. Hartley said it is important not to underestimate the havoc reported rumors or gossip could wreak, especially those in their tween years—however unlikely, untrue or trivial they may seem. Fortunately for Caitlin, she was able to make new and more reliable friends.

“Tweens are trying to make their mark, and there is often a constant undercurrent of competition as they attempt to be top dog,” Hartley wrote. “It's no secret that children can be mean, especially those whose own painful experiences make them more inclined to strike out at others.”

The statement made by Hartley, in actuality, applies to people of all ages. During times of uncertainty, the gossip mill turns faster than ever in environments beyond the schools and campuses to workplaces and businesses, often contributing to lower productivity and affecting relationships.

A good way to deal with the gossip or rumor mill is to stay away from it, and when falsely accused to keep silent if we are not ready or unable to make our defense. Badmouthing to position ourselves above others or to hide our own misgivings breaks trust and reaps bitterness. Spreading rumors and premeditating steps to another person’s fall are uncivil and unethical. Like Caitlin, we can make new and more reliable friends.

Are we falsely accused by others for something we did not do or are we among those who talk behind people’s back and spread rumors or gossips about others? Do we make attempts when falsely accused to find out why our accuser is doing it? Could our accuser’s past or painful experiences be an opening for us to understand and help? Are we the accused or the accuser?

Digital Detox

“Social media is great ... but there are times when social media can get in the way of the real world,” said the voiceover narrator. “That's why we develop the social media guard. It takes the social out of the media and puts it back into your life.”

A cone collar similar to Elizabethan collar or E-collar was next shown onscreen. With the guard worn around the necks, men and women were prevented from reading or viewing their electronic devices. Compelled to redirect their attention to the people around them, they made eye contact.

That was a video created by Coca-Cola for humor. In a sense, a cone collar guard might be a good way to help solve the problem of social media addiction and get people back to social interaction in the real world. However, for practical reasons, we wouldn’t wear such a guard just to disconnect to connect, unplug, and detox to avoid addiction or obsession. What we need is a solution that helps us break free from our dependency and regain control.

Too often, we have been guilty of spending too much time staying digitally connected, listening, reading, viewing, writing or updating  our various social network accounts. We woo people to like, follow, and join our social media pages, blogs and sites, and to add us as friends. We post videos, pictures and text to attract attention and to draw the crowd.

Spending time online is nothing wrong, but spending too much of our time online is. If we are neglecting or missing out the more important things in life because of time spent online, we need help. Whether we are using a computer, laptop, tablet, smartphone or another device to connect to the Internet, we need to stamp down addiction or obsession. A good practice and alternative solution to the collar guard is to regularly take time off to eschew digital activity and use that time for more meaningful social interaction with our loved ones, friends and others.

Are we finding ourselves hooked for extended hours online? Are we oblivious to our surroundings at times when connected to the digital world? Do we feel restless without our smartphone or digital device in hand? If our answer to these questions is affirmative, it means it is time for us to go on a digital detox.

Is this Us?

Social media is great, but sometimes ...

by Brian McFadden in The Nib

We need to disconnect ourselves from the digital world
and connect back to the real world!

Wi-Fi Trivial

My wife and I visited the Holy Land in December 2013. Among the first things we observed about the people in the group we were traveling with was whenever we arrived at the hotel, a number of them would immediately ask about the availability of Wi-Fi. Depending on the revelation, we would hear sighs of relief or disappointment. Thankfully, most of the hotels we stayed in had Wi-Fi. During the few days of snow storm, many of us depended on the Wi-Fi to help us pass the time. Not all the hotels we stayed in, however, had Wi-Fi in the rooms. When that happened, we would hear grumblings and on occasions observe some expressions of unhappiness. On a day when the Wi-Fi signal was weak, we would also hear conversations about the problem during dinnertime.

In an affluent society, we sometimes tend to take for granted what we have and complain about things that are trivial. We are unhappy when our laptop or computer hangs on us. We are unhappy when Wi-Fi is not available at a time we need it. We are unhappy when something we wish to purchase is sold out or taken off the shelf. We are unhappy to have to wait in line or for the traffic signal to turn green. We are unhappy our goals are taking longer to achieve than we expect. We are unhappy with many things and with people who keep us in check.

Some time ago, a charitable organization, Water is Life, featured in an ad campaign, Haitian children and adults reading the ‘complaints’ of first world problems.

“I hate when I tell them no pickles, and they still give me pickles,” said a boy standing among pigs and chickens.

“I hate it when my house is so big, I need two wireless routers,” said a man standing in front of a dilapidated house.

Nearing the end of the one-minute video entitled ‘First World Problems Anthem,’ a message in text was displayed: #FirstWorldProblems Are Not Problems.

Are we among those who grumble and complain about trivial problems, such as the inconveniences in life? Do we ever give some thought to the needs of the people around us or to those in the third world? Are we thankful and grateful for the things we have?