Depressing ...

I am going into a depressive mode again, because I used to be a perfectionist and expect high standards in everything I do, but now I cannot.

With me at hand is an overdue study assignment, and another due Friday this week, and a third due next week. I am inefficient at work and lack the concentration because of tiredness, probably because of insufficient sleep, resulting in doing everything imperfect, and I just cannot accept that.

I cannot accept the fact I am accomplishing nothing in everything and anything I do, yet there are still so many things waiting for me to do. I am not doing anything right nor to my very best because I am ill-stricken at mind.

Sometimes I just want to give it all up, so to retain my sanity, but life is such, not everything is up to us to decide. With money invested in studies and the risk of losing my job, I simply cannot neglect and inefficiency is just not something to accept.

So, I am back to overdrive mode, hoping against hope for better days to come! If you find a mad Spidey swinging aimlessly these days ... just don't expect too much, because I am just trying to keep myself sane!