Quit Smoking

These are the last words of a non-smoker ...

I do not smoke
But I breathe in lots of smoke every day
I've suffered much with emphysema for many years
Now I am dying of lung cancer

If you are a smoker
Do you care for your loved ones
And the people around you?
If you don't
Come and join me in death

Trying Times

The last few days have been trying times, with my sis-in-law hospitalized for brain tumor, diagnozed to be 80-90% likelihood of malignancy, and with my brother and his son in a state of devastation.

Without surgery, the doctor says it will be about 3-6 months, and with surgery 1-3 years. Yesterday, the surgery went through as 'successfully' removing the tumor and she is now in ICU. The surgeon did not wish to comment whether it is benign or malignant till the test result of the tumor is out, which will be around this Thursday, January 15 2009.

I have been praying for the family alongside with some online Christian community friends at FaithWriters.com. May God comfort this family.

Dear Lord, be merciful to this family! Help them stay strong in the face of desperate times. Lead them Lord to you and help them recognize the urgent need for salvation. Show me Lord how I can help and what I must do. Lead me by Your Holy Spirit to know the right time to say the right thing without giving false hopes nor lacking confidence in the Lord.

Depressing ...

I am going into a depressive mode again, because I used to be a perfectionist and expect high standards in everything I do, but now I cannot.

With me at hand is an overdue study assignment, and another due Friday this week, and a third due next week. I am inefficient at work and lack the concentration because of tiredness, probably because of insufficient sleep, resulting in doing everything imperfect, and I just cannot accept that.

I cannot accept the fact I am accomplishing nothing in everything and anything I do, yet there are still so many things waiting for me to do. I am not doing anything right nor to my very best because I am ill-stricken at mind.

Sometimes I just want to give it all up, so to retain my sanity, but life is such, not everything is up to us to decide. With money invested in studies and the risk of losing my job, I simply cannot neglect and inefficiency is just not something to accept.

So, I am back to overdrive mode, hoping against hope for better days to come! If you find a mad Spidey swinging aimlessly these days ... just don't expect too much, because I am just trying to keep myself sane!