CNY for the Non-Nuclear Family

Before going into the details of what it means for a non-nuclear family to face the Lunar New Year, here are a few things that need to be first explained and defined.

The term 'nuclear family' refers to "a couple and their dependent children, regarded as a basic social unit" as defined by the Oxford Compact Dictionary. A non-nuclear family therfore refers to a couple without dependent children. CNY refers to Chinese (Lunar) New Year, the time of the year whereby many, if not all, Chinese come together as a family to celebrate the new year over fifteen days following the lunar calendar, with visitations to many relatives, and to give away 'ang pows' (red packets) containing money to their unmarried children.

Such a joyous occasion calls for the reunion of the family for a time of feasting, usually on the eve of the CNY or earlier. CNY is therefore a time of celebration especially for the Chinese nuclear family, but to the non-nuclear family, it is not unusual to see them away or out of town, seemingly to avoid the festivities, which often is misunderstood as anti-social. The truth however is however far from what most people think or imagine. To the non-nuclear family, CNY fesitivities are not always a joyous occasion, and there are valid reasons why this is so.

Take the example of the reunion dinner. Suppose the gathering is made up of the parents, four brothers and sisters with their spouses, with three of having grand children. The one without children are often seen as a family unit and the cost of a dinner is usually equally divided between the brothers and sisters with inclusion of the parents portion. This will mean that the one without children will also be paying for the cost of food consumed by the children of the other three, and this amount can often add out to a few hundred dollars.

To the non-nuclear family, ang pows are given away to the children of the other three with no returns, simply because they do not have children to receive any, and this again adds up to another sum of money. All these disadvantages add together however are not all the non-nuclear family has to faced. The real reason why CNY festivities are a turn-off to them is actually related to people, the relatives, and what they say. Constantly, the non-nuclear family is asked by relatives as to why they are without kids and as to when they are going to have kids. Procreation is an expectation in the Chinese tradition, and without kids, a family is seen as incomplete or incompetent. Regardless whether the couple choose not to have kids or whether they are unable to have kids due to whatever reason, it is unacceptable to these relatives, and with piece of news, the mouths often spread to the whole community of relatives with gossipings, which sometimes hurt painfully for the non-nuclear family.

These are the real reasons why non-nuclear family runs away from festivities that require the meeting up with relatives. Therefore, if anyone chooses to point a finger to say a non-nuclear family is an anti-social family, think again, because such things are not for us to say. Be it nuclear or otherwise, let us learn to mind our own business and let the family of two live their lives to the fullest.