Tuesday, October 9, 2007

Intolerable Agitation

I am an attention grabber, not because I am handsome or a hunk, but because I get agitated with inconsiderate people blocking everyone's way in train, bus, shopping mall and on the streets, agitated enough to express it in action of hurried gesture and frustration with ever growing impatience.

I know this is not good for my heart, especially when I have recently been admitted to hospital for irregular heartbeat. Yes, my agitation and impatience have taken their toll on me. With my desire to always be considerate and to put others first before me, I have expected too much of others to do likewise, and in this, I have been constantly disappointed to the point of agitation.

It appears I am one who does not know how to take things easy, and with the high expectation I set for myself, I have been miserably mistaken and over confident to expect the general mankind to recipocrate. All I learn daily is that rather than responding in kind, people take advantage and become even more inconsiderate. To give in to their abuse however is pushing me to the limit, and I am breaking down, not knowing how to enjoy or live my life while I am still here on earth.

Life is full of disappointments, and it is too much to expect much from others. Maybe I should care less and behave like the inconsiderates, but then it is against all I hold fast to and believe in, and I cannot, because not only is it against my principles, but it is just not me.

Teach me, therefore, O Lord, to stay calm in the midst of agitation, not expect too much of others, and to live life peaceably in co-existence with people of different cultures and different behavior.

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