A Thorn in My Flesh

Few people gets on my nerve, but here is one exception.

I have a colleague from PRC who sticks to me like a leech, not for goodwill, but to check on what I do and the way I do it, so to criticize and disrupt my work. He is the reason I wrote new rules concerning administrative requests for change.

Several months ago, I was at People's Park with my wife booking for my trip to Russia, when he pops in from nowhere, interrupts my conversation with the tour consultant, and asked me things which doesn't concern me. Even the tour consultant was shocked at his behavior and questions my wife who that was to interrupt.

In the office, he nags at me from time to time, as if I owe him a living, simply because he wants a few words change in a document, unconcerned how busy I am in doing other more important things. Though he has the soft copy of the file, but he simply will not lift a finger to do the needed change, and yet in the meantime, he makes changes to everything else in that same document. When I finally change what he wants, he tells me he already has a different version of the document and wants me to combine my changes to his document. All these take time and disrupt my workflow, wasting unproductive time.

Recently, he shifted house from near office to somewhere else, but that does not concerns me, nor am I interested to know where. However, I soon found out on the MRT train this morning. He entered the train a station after mine. I was appalled. There goes my pleasant mornings where I either rest or read my books. This colleague of mine is like a thorn in my flesh, the person who makes me fail to meet my deadlines for the projects I am working on, and reason I have to answer to my boss for my failure to meet the schedules.

I am not a saint, and though I try my best not to dislike people and usually gets along pretty well with people of all cultures, I must say I fail in this. Therefore, like what Paul has said, I must learn to endure, to rely on God and seek His grace ...

2 Corinthians 12:7-9 (NAS)

... for this reason, to keep me from exalting myself, there was given me a thorn in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me - to keep me from exalting myself!

Concerning this I implored the Lord three times that it might leave me. And He has said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is perfected in weakness." Most gladly, therefore, I will rather boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.

Learning to be Graceful

Few days ago, I wrote on the topic of 'What Is Different About Singaporeans?'. In the story, I mentioned about the unpleasant encounters which resulted from certain unacceptable behaviours.

In this article, I will list down 10 things you can do to minimise negative opinions and improve your gracefulness.

The first thing to do is to consider others first. For example, by letting others out from the MRT train before pushing your way through, by not standing near escalators to chatter and endangering the safety of others, and by considering others' health before smoking at public places such as the bus-stop.

Second, in every action, ask yourself whether it will hurt others or put others in a disadvantaged position? For example, at a pedestrian walkway, consider whether riding your bicycle will cause inconvenience to others. What about leaning on the pole in the MRT train, will others who need to stand fast on their feet be derived from getting a hold of the pole? Consider whether your shopping trolley will prevent other shoppers or block others from having access to through routes if put in the middle of a lane.

Third, in making plans, consider how you can help others. Example, if building a public place or facility, have you given thought to conveniences for the handicap?

Fourth, quit all non-etiquette behaviour, such as spitting and blowing your nose in the public, asking for more free gifts when given only one or a few, excessively accumulating free gifts not meant for you, or accumulating massive food on the plate during buffet meals.

Fifth, learn good practices from others and from other cultures. Examples include clearing your own waste after eating at fast food outlets, returning unused chillie and ketchup packs to the counters, and giving up seats to people needing it more than you.

Sixth, Learn to give more than to receive.

Seventh, do not do anything from selfishness or conceit, always thinking to exercise own rights or assuming you deserve more than others.

Eighth, do not be too calculative or expect reciprocal returns from others.

Ninth, do not expect a 100% quality in everything, be it services or products. There is NO perfection on earth.

Tenth, be considerate in all things because you want to, not because you have to or because you are told to. Do it from the heart.