At the Crossroads Again

Back to my nature walks waiting at the crossroads

of something familiar and endless possibilities.

Illustration n Thought

Ottawa is somewhere familiar to me, 

but what lies ahead is the challenge

of unknown possibilities like

the Bermuda Triangle

Time

Many of us live our lives rushing all the time, and I, like many, am also always running and rushing all my time. I rush to get to work, I rush to complete my assigned work, I rush to meet deadlines, and I rush to get home. Few are the moments I have to pause and catch my breath, and few are the days I can take extended breaks. This is the kind of lifestyle I live by, and I know it is not healthy, a sure sign of an impending breakdown and possibly a prelude to a heart attack.

I am by nature a time conscious man, probably because of my upbringing and because I live by the principle of living each day meaningfully. I am aware of the shortness of a human life, so in desiring to accomplish much while alive, I am always seeking for more time. Then one day God decided to grant me my wish for more time -- time to completely rest from my labor. So rest I did, first in hospital for a surgery, then at home for recovery. All that took place some years ago, and during that one month of rest, I learnt to be still before God and to be at peace. I also leant that in all the haste, I have gained nothing much except in jeopardizing my own health.

When I finally recovered from my illness, my perception of life was somewhat changed. Sadly, however, I soon returned to my rushing game because I was then studying and working at the same time. Now, after many years, although I have completed my studies, I am still learning how to take time to rest without feeling unrest or guilty of wasting away my free time. Maybe I am too conscious about time, or maybe subconsciously I simply cannot live life without a purpose in mind.

Teach me therefore O God to know when to run, when to slowdown and when to stop and rest. Help me in my busyness not to fail to see the more important things in life, especially when it involves someone in need. Lead me to know how to keep my time in check, to strike a balance between the necessary and the important, that I may not, out of negligence, cause unhappiness to any relationship.