When My Buddy Is Hurting

It pains me when my buddy's heart hurts
It pricks me when she is in despair
It saddens me when I know she is ill
It worries me when she is going through surgery

My buddy is one whom I care a lot
One whom I share my hope and joy
When she is unhappy I am sad
When she is down and out
I long to see her up and smiling

When she sees no hope in this world
I will keep on nudging her to hold
To see the world with hope
To encourage her to persevere

When she feels she is all alone
I will let her know she is never alone
Because she has me as a friend
And God Who cares for her and Who is always near

When she lacks the strength to work
I will send a MSN to shake her
With winks and nudges to keep her going
And she will return with a friendly chat

To my dearest buddy and my friend
Your wellness is my desire and my every plan
To insure the joy you certainly deserve
For being such a sister buddy and friend

Father Help Me

Father help me
My life is in topsy-turvy
Turned upside down by juggles
Of faith work and study

I long for the days
I will struggle no more
To hand to You my life
My time and my energy
To do the things
You have planned for me

Gone are my days of joy
As I continually toil
To fulfill the demands of the world
And the needs of the flesh
To live a life in hope
Of riches and needed rest

Fulfill my destiny O God
Let me know what you have planned for me
Help me fulfill my desire to please Thee
For without You I can see no life in me
Let me O God be filled with Your Spirit
Direct me in Your purpose
Lead me and show me
And make me understand
How I can go through this life
To find fulfillment in serving Thee

I Was Attacked By EzuLa

Just when I thought I can rest early last Friday evening and sacrifice my class on Saturday to catch up with studies, then disaster strikes.

My computer was hijacked by Adware EzuLa. According to Symantec, 'Ezula alters Web pages viewed in Internet Explorer and can add extra links to certain keywords that advertisers target. This adware runs under the name TopText.'

That was exactly what happened. I started seeing links at my own web sites that I have not placed, and this is activated by some malicious program which has hijacked my IE browser. What I did next was to get an anti-adware program to clean up my PC which detected over 300 parameters in my Windows registry containing ad codes. As if this nuisance is not enough, my operating system suddenly crashed while I was attempting to prevent further damage.

Restoring my PC took two days. On Friday, I have to worked through re-setting up my Windows Me operating system while eliminating the adware, taking up till 3am the next day. On Saturday, I have to reinstall all my software applications, and redo many things, only to discover that my OS update has somewhat been partially damaged, and hence failed to process essential updates of Windows subset of patches and service packs. Coupled with new discovery that my notebook hard disk needed thorough ScanDisk because of bad sectors with data within, I am left with working overdrive again through Saturday night till Sunday morning 3am.

That was a real pain, and I was left with few hours of sleep before I attend the early morning church service. Now, I am back to square one with my studies running out of time, couple of study assignments awaiting to be done, many chapters of text books yet to be read, and an early morning awaiting on Monday at 8am in the office to settle some IS issues. I am really burnt out.

If you ask what has the IS duties to do with me, well, I am not merely employed to be a Technical Writer. I am also a backup for the company's IS. This is how it is these days. Many things come bundled in a package when you apply for any new job. No one is assign to just doing their main work, and many has added duties to cover staffing cost. If you don't take the additionals, or what is termed as 'add value', you don't get the job. That is the reality of life.

For now, I am just a Spidey, heavily laden with many challenges of life without much leisure nor any time for an ordinary life. It's all work and studies - no play.

My Buddy's Favourite Fruit

I came to know my buddy cyberSis through moblog.com.sg, just by a mere greeting to welcome her. Things have changed ever since, and when I found out she likes strawberries, I dedicated a page of my personal web site to posting photos of strawberries with background music, just to make sure she has a strawberry day, everyday.

To cheer my buddy friend, I sent an MMS to her moblog, of a strawberry picture i painstakingly search through the Net, making sure it is of high quality, pleasant to the eyes, trimmed down to size, to prevent copyright from being recognized.

Each time I see strawberries, I think of my buddy sis, and each time I think of my buddy sis, I will always smile. When I travel overseas and visit a strawberry farm, the first thing that comes to mind is to send my sister some. But since I can't, I take photos instead, to post on blogs, hoping the pictures will enchant, memories of me and of strawberries, to my buddy sis.

The things I do for my buddy sister, the one whom I sincerely care, is something no man, I believe, can comprehend. For it is she that cheer my days and make my stay at moblog such a pleasant place.

My Buddy Cyber Sister

I have a buddy cyberSis I know on the Net
Whom till this day I have never met
Yet there are many things we share in common
Only God could have made this arrangement
For us to know each other
As brother and sister

We have the same surname
And share the same faith
Study at the same academy
Attend the same church
In her present and my past
Crossing our lives
Often in similar paths

Like the pair in You've Got Mail
We need not meet
To share a kindred spirit
To know within
The trust we share
That no one can
Except in Christ understand
With hearts intertwined
The way only true friends can

To my cyberSis in Christ
May you stay happy your entire life
For that is my sincere prayer for you
Let our friendship stay ever true

Apprehend vs Apprehension

To apprehend is NOT the same as apprehension.

One is to catch hold, the other is to worry about tomorrow or something awaiting in the future, which may or may not happen. Are you catching hold or are you stricken by what awaits?

When an obstacle or something awaits ahead, fret not! If you cannot go through it, just go around it! Let God show you the way!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths
straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NAS)

My Inner Being

There are times
When people think I am at peace
Unperturbed and seemingly at ease
But deep down within
In the realm of my mind
Is filled with turmoil
No man can comprehend

The juggles in life
And the stresses in mind
The years of honing
To keep oneself alive
With sanity in check
Blood pressures in place
No measures of precaution
Can keep up with the blurring pace
Of stresses today
And stresses at the moment
To keep intact one's spiritual faith

In earnest of heart
At points of despair
When desperation prevails my mind
I cry out to God in prayer
Sometimes requesting
For Him to end it all
Like Elijah in the book of Kings
Who expressed to the LORD
He has enough of everything
I sometimes express the same
And ask God to take me home with Him
Occasionally forgetting
The meaning of life
The things God has in stored
The plans and purpose He has for me

O LORD forgive my lack of faith
Renew my spirit
Fill my innermost being
With flowing rivers of living water
Empower me with your Holy Spirit
Guide me in my ways
Teach me to take each day
A step at a time
To live my life
A sanctified and holy sacrifice

My Friends

I don't have many friends,
But whom I consider as friends,
They shall be my friends indeed,
And I will value them
And take them as my own!

That's me!

My Earnest Prayer

Over the last month
I've sought and prayed
That God will bless me
Day after day
To cope with my studies, work, and faith
To manage my life by God's grace
To rely on Him in my weaknesses
To draw from Him
Strength in all circumstances
To exercise miraculous power
To do what is humanly considered impossible
To make things happened
The way my employer wants
Even when my knowledge of it is next to none
In faith I seek God's help
To meet my earthly master's demands
To do what is right
To do it well

In dazzle I walk each day
Because of endless nights
And blurring days
My studies are overdue
Going down the drain
With untouched textbooks
Unattended classes
Things are not performing
According to the needed pace

Grant me O God ability to perform
The things I know not how
Bestow to me Your wisdom
Especially when I am unsure
Let me know and make me clear
Let my life be Yours to do
Wth me the way you want it to
Let me know Your presence and Your grace
In whatever I do and at wherever the place
Teach me O God to include You
in all my plans and in what I do
To live my life just for You

Memories

Memories are things we cannot hide
The things we sometimes hope to forget
Yet there are things we hope we'll always remember
Or our achievements and our past will be gone forever
For if our identity is erased without a trace
It will be hard to live by the mercies of God's grace

Without memories
We will not know
What we have lost
Or what we have gained
To appreciate the things in life
That keeps us alive
To know what is worth
And what is not worth keeping
To give more than receive
To do good things
To live and appreciate
The things we have
The nature and the air
The beauty of God's creation everywhere
The water we drink
The air we breathe
The things we take for granted
And assumed always there

O God bless our memories
To remember the good
To learn from the bad
To move on to live our lives
To the fullest we know how
In ways guided by Your Spirit
In faith and love
In fruitfulness and charity
To do the right things
To bring good memories