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Verses for Serious Thinking

Proverbs 16:25
There is a way which seems right to a man,
But its end is the way of death.

Proverbs 27:5-6
Better is open rebuke
Than love that is concealed.
Faithful are the wounds of a friend,
But deceitful are the kisses of an enemy.

When My Buddy Is Hurting

It pains me when my buddy's heart hurts
It pricks me when she is in despair
It saddens me when I know she is ill
It worries me when she is going through surgery

My buddy is one whom I care a lot
One whom I share my hope and joy
When she is unhappy I am sad
When she is down and out
I long to see her up and smiling

When she sees no hope in this world
I will keep on nudging her to hold
To see the world with hope
To encourage her to persevere

When she feels she is all alone
I will let her know she is never alone
Because she has me as a friend
And God Who cares for her and Who is always near

When she lacks the strength to work
I will send a MSN to shake her
With winks and nudges to keep her going
And she will return with a friendly chat

To my dearest buddy and my friend
Your wellness is my desire and my every plan
To insure the joy you certainly deserve
For being such a sister buddy and friend

Father Help Me

Father help me
My life is in topsy-turvy
Turned upside down by juggles
Of faith work and study

I long for the days
I will struggle no more
To hand to You my life
My time and my energy
To do the things
You have planned for me

Gone are my days of joy
As I continually toil
To fulfill the demands of the world
And the needs of the flesh
To live a life in hope
Of riches and needed rest

Fulfill my destiny O God
Let me know what you have planned for me
Help me fulfill my desire to please Thee
For without You I can see no life in me
Let me O God be filled with Your Spirit
Direct me in Your purpose
Lead me and show me
And make me understand
How I can go through this life
To find fulfillment in serving Thee

I Was Attacked By EzuLa

Just when I thought I can rest early last Friday evening and sacrifice my class on Saturday to catch up with studies, then disaster strikes.

My computer was hijacked by Adware EzuLa. According to Symantec, 'Ezula alters Web pages viewed in Internet Explorer and can add extra links to certain keywords that advertisers target. This adware runs under the name TopText.'

That was exactly what happened. I started seeing links at my own web sites that I have not placed, and this is activated by some malicious program which has hijacked my IE browser. What I did next was to get an anti-adware program to clean up my PC which detected over 300 parameters in my Windows registry containing ad codes. As if this nuisance is not enough, my operating system suddenly crashed while I was attempting to prevent further damage.

Restoring my PC took two days. On Friday, I have to worked through re-setting up my Windows Me operating system while eliminating the adware, taking up till 3am the next day. On Saturday, I have to reinstall all my software applications, and redo many things, only to discover that my OS update has somewhat been partially damaged, and hence failed to process essential updates of Windows subset of patches and service packs. Coupled with new discovery that my notebook hard disk needed thorough ScanDisk because of bad sectors with data within, I am left with working overdrive again through Saturday night till Sunday morning 3am.

That was a real pain, and I was left with few hours of sleep before I attend the early morning church service. Now, I am back to square one with my studies running out of time, couple of study assignments awaiting to be done, many chapters of text books yet to be read, and an early morning awaiting on Monday at 8am in the office to settle some IS issues. I am really burnt out.

If you ask what has the IS duties to do with me, well, I am not merely employed to be a Technical Writer. I am also a backup for the company's IS. This is how it is these days. Many things come bundled in a package when you apply for any new job. No one is assign to just doing their main work, and many has added duties to cover staffing cost. If you don't take the additionals, or what is termed as 'add value', you don't get the job. That is the reality of life.

For now, I am just a Spidey, heavily laden with many challenges of life without much leisure nor any time for an ordinary life. It's all work and studies - no play.

My Buddy's Favourite Fruit

I came to know my buddy cyberSis through moblog.com.sg, just by a mere greeting to welcome her. Things have changed ever since, and when I found out she likes strawberries, I dedicated a page of my personal web site to posting photos of strawberries with background music, just to make sure she has a strawberry day, everyday.

To cheer my buddy friend, I sent an MMS to her moblog, of a strawberry picture i painstakingly search through the Net, making sure it is of high quality, pleasant to the eyes, trimmed down to size, to prevent copyright from being recognized.

Each time I see strawberries, I think of my buddy sis, and each time I think of my buddy sis, I will always smile. When I travel overseas and visit a strawberry farm, the first thing that comes to mind is to send my sister some. But since I can't, I take photos instead, to post on blogs, hoping the pictures will enchant, memories of me and of strawberries, to my buddy sis.

The things I do for my buddy sister, the one whom I sincerely care, is something no man, I believe, can comprehend. For it is she that cheer my days and make my stay at moblog such a pleasant place.

My Buddy Cyber Sister

I have a buddy cyberSis I know on the Net
Whom till this day I have never met
Yet there are many things we share in common
Only God could have made this arrangement
For us to know each other
As brother and sister

We have the same surname
And share the same faith
Study at the same academy
Attend the same church
In her present and my past
Crossing our lives
Often in similar paths

Like the pair in You've Got Mail
We need not meet
To share a kindred spirit
To know within
The trust we share
That no one can
Except in Christ understand
With hearts intertwined
The way only true friends can

To my cyberSis in Christ
May you stay happy your entire life
For that is my sincere prayer for you
Let our friendship stay ever true

Apprehend vs Apprehension

To apprehend is NOT the same as apprehension.

One is to catch hold, the other is to worry about tomorrow or something awaiting in the future, which may or may not happen. Are you catching hold or are you stricken by what awaits?

When an obstacle or something awaits ahead, fret not! If you cannot go through it, just go around it! Let God show you the way!

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him, And He will make your paths
straight. (Proverbs 3:5-6 NAS)

My Inner Being

There are times
When people think I am at peace
Unperturbed and seemingly at ease
But deep down within
In the realm of my mind
Is filled with turmoil
No man can comprehend

The juggles in life
And the stresses in mind
The years of honing
To keep oneself alive
With sanity in check
Blood pressures in place
No measures of precaution
Can keep up with the blurring pace
Of stresses today
And stresses at the moment
To keep intact one's spiritual faith

In earnest of heart
At points of despair
When desperation prevails my mind
I cry out to God in prayer
Sometimes requesting
For Him to end it all
Like Elijah in the book of Kings
Who expressed to the LORD
He has enough of everything
I sometimes express the same
And ask God to take me home with Him
Occasionally forgetting
The meaning of life
The things God has in stored
The plans and purpose He has for me

O LORD forgive my lack of faith
Renew my spirit
Fill my innermost being
With flowing rivers of living water
Empower me with your Holy Spirit
Guide me in my ways
Teach me to take each day
A step at a time
To live my life
A sanctified and holy sacrifice

My Friends

I don't have many friends,
But whom I consider as friends,
They shall be my friends indeed,
And I will value them
And take them as my own!

That's me!

My Earnest Prayer

Over the last month
I've sought and prayed
That God will bless me
Day after day
To cope with my studies, work, and faith
To manage my life by God's grace
To rely on Him in my weaknesses
To draw from Him
Strength in all circumstances
To exercise miraculous power
To do what is humanly considered impossible
To make things happened
The way my employer wants
Even when my knowledge of it is next to none
In faith I seek God's help
To meet my earthly master's demands
To do what is right
To do it well

In dazzle I walk each day
Because of endless nights
And blurring days
My studies are overdue
Going down the drain
With untouched textbooks
Unattended classes
Things are not performing
According to the needed pace

Grant me O God ability to perform
The things I know not how
Bestow to me Your wisdom
Especially when I am unsure
Let me know and make me clear
Let my life be Yours to do
Wth me the way you want it to
Let me know Your presence and Your grace
In whatever I do and at wherever the place
Teach me O God to include You
in all my plans and in what I do
To live my life just for You

Memories

Memories are things we cannot hide
The things we sometimes hope to forget
Yet there are things we hope we'll always remember
Or our achievements and our past will be gone forever
For if our identity is erased without a trace
It will be hard to live by the mercies of God's grace

Without memories
We will not know
What we have lost
Or what we have gained
To appreciate the things in life
That keeps us alive
To know what is worth
And what is not worth keeping
To give more than receive
To do good things
To live and appreciate
The things we have
The nature and the air
The beauty of God's creation everywhere
The water we drink
The air we breathe
The things we take for granted
And assumed always there

O God bless our memories
To remember the good
To learn from the bad
To move on to live our lives
To the fullest we know how
In ways guided by Your Spirit
In faith and love
In fruitfulness and charity
To do the right things
To bring good memories

How Spiders Work

An orb-spinning spider puts its elegant traps together pretty quickly, proceeding easily from step to step according to the instruction manual preprogrammed into its brain. The diagram below shows the major steps.

Every web begins with a single thread, which forms the basis of the rest of the structure. To establish this bridge, the spider climbs to a suitable starting point (up a tree branch, for example) and releases a length of thread into the wind. With any luck, the free end of the thread will catch onto another branch. If the spider feels that the thread has caught onto something, it cinches up the silk and attaches the thread to the starting point.

It walks across the thread, releasing a looser thread below the first one. It attaches this thread on both ends and climbs to its center. The looser strand sags downward, forming a V shape. The spider lowers itself from this point, to form a Y-shape. This forms the core support structure of the web.

The spider easily grips the thin threads with special serrated claws, a smooth hook and a series of barbed hairs on the end of its legs. As it walks along the initial structural threads, it lays more frame threads between various anchor points. Then it starts laying out radius threads from the center of the web to the frames. The spider does not coat the frame and radius threads with sticky material, since it needs to walk across them to get around the web.

After building all the radius threads, the spider lays more non-stick silk to form an auxiliary spiral, extending from the center of the web to the outer edge of the web. The spider then spirals in on the web, laying out sticky thread and using the auxiliary spiral as a reference. The spider eats up the auxiliary spiral as it lays out the sticky spiral, resulting in a web with non-sticky radius threads, for getting around, and a sticky spiral for catching bugs.

The spider sits in the middle of its web, monitoring the radius threads for vibrations. If an insect gets caught in any part of the web, the spider will feel the motion through the radius threads and make its way to the vibration source. In this way, the web extends the spider's sensory system over a much wider area. The spider might also leave the web, to retreat to a separate nest, while monitoring the web via a connected signal line.

Web-spinning spiders have an innate ability to tell the difference between vibrations from insect prey and vibrations from other sources (a leaf falling into the web, for example). Many species can also distinguish the characteristic vibrations of dangerous insects, such as wasps, from their preferred prey.

When the orb web has deteriorated and is no longer useful, many spider species will destroy it, eating up all the threads so it can recycle the raw silk material. Spiders may leave the heavy bridge thread so that they can easily rebuild the web at a later point.

For an animated illustration of how spider works, and a more detailed write-up, please visit: How Stuff Works.

Work of Passion

There is a passion that man knows not
A passion only employers seem to understand
The passion they call passion for the job
That accepts all things beyond boundaries
Mediocre pay and many other duties

The dictionary defines passion
Of a very powerful feeling
That goes beyond love hate anger and emotion
The drive to reach and achieve
The unseen impossibilities
A suffering that endures inflicted pain
The state of being acted upon
In subjection to external influence
A disorder of the mind
A kind of madness
To which we choose
A state we express our passion
Of madness or of drive
Is up to employers to define

To a person who wish to join
Only the passionate will they employ
Of one who works the extra mile
With passion and love to die for
Of expressed willingness to take
Beyond ascribed duties for position engaged
The one who is unconcerned for wages paid

The passion only employers understand
Is not a passion any heart can comprehend
It is a passion underlining sufferings
That endures inflicted pain
From external influence imposed
To mean passion in subjection
In bringing disorder of the mind
To drive us crazy far beyond
The state of madness for simple minds

Creativity With EZ-Link Card

The thing I like about using a public transport stored value card is the freedom to decide even at last minute my final destination. If I board a bus and change my mind where I wish to go, I freely choose to go some place else to disembark. I need not worry about the discrepancy I did not pay or have overpaid, because with the card, charges only deduct when I disembark. So I frequently change my mind where I wish to go in order to build flexibility to cultivate creativity.

Creativity is about observing things differently, seeing things as we have not seen before, reading details we frequently ignore. We sit on a chair daily, yet we seldom really care, to explore and see what material it is made of, whether there are any loosen screws or cushion tear, what mechanism is in it, how it turns, what type of rollers is used, because we fail to see things with a creative mind.

Creativity is also about being always ready for changes, a circumstantial or deliberate act to be different, to do things differently, and to break from routines. We can go to a regular destination by a different route on a different day, or walk a different path to where we work. We can take public transport instead of driving, or take a bus instead of the subway train.

Creativity is about listening or hearing the things that surround us, the noises and conversations people share, the sounds of nature and music everywhere. It is about smelling things in our surroundings, of fragrance and flowers, perfume and odors, food and many others. It is about being sensitive to our five senses.

In a busy world today, the things we see, smell, and hear, we seldom care more than superficial. We take for granted the things we have, and we fail to stop and listen. We do not pay attention because we are too busy, and it is for this reason I occasionally take a break, away from society, to get away from routines, to retreat, recreate, and rediscover self, to restore my soul, to make myself whole. As travelers for a little time while on earth, we need to regularly calm our souls, to enter into a mood of relaxation, to pay attention at all occasions, to close our eyes and ear all things, the likes of birds chirping, cricket and grasshopper calling, the dragonfly buzzing, the pin dropping, even the clock ticking.

Death of Spider-Man ... by Baygon

A very funny ad by Baygon, the insecticide that kills all bugs, including ... Spidey! :D

Photos of Inspirational Nature Walk

As a writer I often make time to go for nature walks to think and to get inspiration from God. I walk in early morn in solitude with nature, to calm my inner spirit and to heighten my senses in listening, smelling, touching, feeling, and seeing.

I hear the birds chirping, the insects flying, and the sounds of waves hitting shore. I feel the breeze and wind caress my face. I smell nature and the fragrance of flowers in the air. I see falling leaves and flying birds and ants marching the floor endlessly without despair. I see chameleons crossing my path and I see squirrels climbing trees.

In nature I discover myself, a human being created to love nature and co-exist with others as well. In nature, I discover my inner love for writing, a longing desire ever growing, to pen my thoughts and share to the world, how great is our God, Who created us into being.

Walk with me and share my thoughts, view the photos of my nature walk.

Quitting Gracefully: The Art of Resigning

We have all heard about writing good CVs and résumés, but we seldom hear of writing a good resignation letter. Here is a sample letter that we can use to cut and paste when tendering our resignation letter!


RESIGNATION

Dear Sirs

As required under the employment contract, I am giving you [notice period]'s notice of my resignation from the organisation starting from today and expiring on [month date, year].

Having worked for the organisation over the last few [days / weeks / months / years], I have discovered [my current job to be unsuitable for me / I am probably not the best person for the job] [because of / in view of] [reasons for resigning]

I wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused as a result of my decision and sincerely thank you for the opportunity given to me.

Yours truly
[name]



EXAMPLES:

Dear Sirs

As required under the employment contract, I am giving you one month period's notice of my resignation from the organisation starting from today and expiring on March 20, 2005.

Having worked for the organisation over the last few days, I have discovered that I am probably not the best person for the job in view of the extensive administration requirements and the lack of information to perform my assigned duties.

I wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused as a result of my decision and sincerely thank you for the opportunity given to me.




Yours sincerely
Desiree

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear Sirs

As required under the employment contract, I am giving you fourteen days 's notice of my resignation from the organisation starting from today and expiring on March 2, 2005.

Having worked for the organisation over the last few months, I have discovered my current job to be unsuitable for me because it does not meet the career plan I have in mind.

I wish to apologise for any inconvenience caused as a result of my decision and sincerely thank you for the opportunity given to me.


Yours truly
John Doe

Dr. Phil's Analysis of my Personality

Quite accurate in describing my personality ...

Take the Test!

Overcoming Anger

We frequently see expressions of anger and sometimes experience flare-up too. We get angry when someone breaks a promise or when we are unable to get what we want. We also get angry because we fail to meet our own expectation or because we do not measure up to perfection. We get frustrated at people when we see them do things we considered as undignified or deviant. We may even be unhappy for being angry with people and sometimes ourselves.

There are many reasons why we get angry but we must always understand that anger in itself is not wrong. What is wrong is dependent on whether we are angry for the right reasons.

The Greek philosopher Aristotle once said:

"Anyone can be angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy."

The Bible talks about an anger that is righteous and holy, such as the holy anger of God:

And they have defiled My holy name by their abominations which they have committed. So I have consumed them in My anger. (Ezekiel 43:8b NAS)

In this verse, we realize even God gets angry too and He has the right to do so because He is a holy and righteous God Who cannot let His holy name be defiled by the sins of Man. Jesus Himself was angry and cast out the people who were buying and selling in the temple (Matthew 21:12-13; Mark 11:15-17). God must also have been angry when He sends an angel to strike Herod because he did not give God the glory (Acts 12:21-23).

As we can see from the narrative above, anger in itself is NOT sin. Anger can be holy and righteous if it is for the right reasons.

Most of us however are angry not because of holiness or righteousness. We often get angry without first investigating the truth or without considerations for the circumstances of others. Regardless whether we are Christians or not, we need to learn to be "quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger" (James 1:19 NAS). We may get angry and yet do not sin if we are angry for the right reasons. However, whether it is for the right or wrong reasons, our anger must always be kept in checked and not consume us or be carried forward to another day so that we do not sin.

This is what the Bible says about handling anger:

Be angry, and yet do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and do not give the devil an opportunity. (Ephesians 4:25-16 NAS)

Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you along with all malice. And be kind to one another, tender-hearted, forgiving each other, just as God in Christ also has forgiven you. (Ephesians 4:31-32 NAS)

So when we get angry the next time, remember not to flare-up, but stay compose. Learn to forebear, investigate the truth, and be forgiving.

This approach however is not going to be easy, especially if you are not a Christian. To the non-believers, they must work really hard at self-control, and sometimes this method doesn't work too well for a person with a temper. For Christians, this can be cultivated quite easily because it comes natural with the indwelling of the Holy Spirit whose fruit is "love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law." (Galatians 5:22-23 NAS).

If you desire to have the power to overcome sin and therefore anger, all you need to do is to acknowledge your sinfulness and invite Christ into your life, and He will freely give to you His Holy Spirit. Once you have received Jesus into your life, the Holy Spirit dwells in you, and you will be able with His power overcome the desire of the flesh.

In his epistle to the Galatians, Paul teaches:

... walk by the Spirit, and you will not carry out the desire of the flesh. For the flesh sets its desire against the Spirit, and the Spirit against the flesh; for these are in opposition to one another, so that you may not do the things that you please. (Galatians 5:16-17)

Let us therefore who possess the Holy Spirit in us, not get angry unduly, remembering always not to let anger be brought forward to another day. Where forgiveness is necessary, confess and reconcile with the other party within the same day, and DO NOT let anger accumulate, because it can consume us to the point of bitterness. Confess to God and acknowledge our sins if we have been angry for the wrong reasons, and let the Spirit of God Who dwells in us mold and change us as we walk in His word (The Holy Bible) daily.

It is Valentine's Day!

A day to remember the greatest love on earth,
Of Jesus Who died for us while we were still sinners,
Of One Who willingly lays down His life for another,
To save the lost world from death eternal.

Greater love has no one than this, that one lay down his life for his friends. (John 15:13 NAS)

... God demonstrates His own love toward us, in that while we were yet sinners, Christ died for us. (Romans 5:8 NAS)

For God did not send the Son into the world to judge the world; but that the world should be saved through Him. (John 3:17 NAS)

The Tang Dynasty Emperor

Have you ever thought how a Chinese emperor will react when introduced to a new religion? Find out how the first Tang Dynasty emperor response to Christianity and how the infamous Empress Dowager Wu react to it.

This article details the church history of China and India. Trace how the first emperor of the Tang Dynasty embraces Christianity and how the apostle Thomas was matyred in India. Read ... Church History in Asia.

Not Exactly My Personality

Not exactly true ... although para 2 is quite close.

You Have A Type A- Personality
A-
You are one of the most balanced people around. Motivated and focused, you are good at getting what you want. You rule at success, but success doesn't rule you.
When it's playtime, you really know how to kick back. Whether it's hanging out with friends or doing something you love! You live life to the fullest - incorporating the best of both worlds

Do You Have a Type A Personality?

How I came to be a Christian

I became a Christian when I was a secondary school student. As a librarian in a Catholic school, I had the opportunity to be sent to YMCA to learn some typing skills. While at YMCA, I picked up a brochure and found out about Christian correspondence courses that are available free, so I enrolled and got to know more about Christianity.

One day, while standing at the stairs of the National Library at Stamford, some students invited me to join them in their church's school club at the Bible House in Armenian Street, so I went with them. My first visit to the club was an evangelistic meeting and having known Christ through correspondence courses, I readily received Him there and then.

Becoming a Christian is not all smooth sailing. Coming from a 'buddist' family, I was persecuted and considered an outcast of the family who does not know his roots. In school, I was branded a 'holy cow' and was segregated from a circle of friends. It was not until several years later that people began to accept me for what I am, and even till this day there are still occurences of rejection from my family and relatives in situations such as a non-Christian funeral. All these 'sufferings' however are insignificant in comparison to the joy I receive when I trust Jesus to be my Lord and Saviour. Even when I stray away at times, God never for once stays away from me and when things seem humanly hopeless, He always puts in my heart a special calm that gives me confidence to go on.

Now after many years in the Christian faith, I have served the Lord in many areas, including ushering, church youth club leadership, cell group and worship leadership, counselling for several public Christian gospel conferences and other areas. I have also studied some theological studies part-time at FEBC and SBC in the past and wrote Christian teachings in church newsletters. As part of my interest in Christian research, I have also written a book on Church History many years ago for my Bible Study group.

Today, I am just a simple and ordinary Christian attending church regularly, whose heart is desiring to reach out to help others, and to share with mankind the inner peace that I've experienced in Jesus Christ.

Inspiration vs Hard Work

We usually think more creatively when we are relaxed. Unfortunately, many of us think at the worst of times and often under pressure, when we are forced to make decisions.

As a writer, I often have to muse and think over the subject before I write, and I write best when I am relaxed. I get inspired easily when walking through the woods or while taking long nature walks. Unfortunately, such luxury are seldom available when I am on an assignment, which often has short deadline, so I do the next best thing, similar to what everyone else do when they are pressured - research and compile, then write.

Research and compilation is common in most environments, and if you know the process of problem solving, you will probably know what I mean. In a corporate environment, problem solving means identifying, analysing, implementing, and evaluating. This is not dissimilar in any other environments.

First, research and gather as much information on the subject as possible. Next, sort out the useable from the unusable then select what goes into the story. Finally write in one's own words the story based on all the information gathered, re-reading it to edit and modify where necessary.

A story written based on hard work is seldom satisfactory to the author, but at least it gets the work done. In a perfect world, the author has a lot of time to think, and if one gets a chance to write a novel or a book, some inspiration will definitely be essential. However, if writing is a daily or periodical routine that makes up a high percentage of press news and factual content then option two will be more appropriate in solving the immediate problem.

Therefore, when writing becomes a pressure instead of pleasure, it is time to retreat and rediscover inspiration within nature.

Silence

There is communication in silence where the absence of words communicates many things.

Silence reads messages in the eyes, understands the language from the body, and sees gestures that tell many tales. When someone talks to you and you remain silent, it reveals your disinterest or your ignorance. It communicates your lack of attention and a listening ear.

When someone says 'silence is golden', he or she refers to solitude, and not the absence of sound. True silence is about being quiet at heart and mind, and being of few words. It is about thinking before speaking and speaking only when necessary.

Complete silence living in the city is quite impossible, but true quietness is amidst the noises, maintaining silence in the heart and mind. If your mind is not in turmoil and your heart is calm, it is then that true peace has been attained in silence.

Quit meaningless chatter!

My Dominant Intelligence

I am a linguist according to a test on what kind of intelligence do I have! Maybe that is why I am a journalist and writer?? :D

Your Dominant Intelligence is
Linguistic Intelligence

You are excellent with words and language. You explain yourself well. An elegant speaker, you can converse well with anyone on the fly. You are also good at remembering information and convicing someone of your point of view. A master of creative phrasing and unique words, you enjoy expanding your vocabulary. You would make a fantastic poet, journalist, writer, teacher, lawyer, politician, or translator.

What Kind of Intelligence Do You Have?

Emotional Intelligence

"Anyone can be angry - that is easy. But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way - this is not easy." - Aristotle.

Understanding one's emotion to behave in a way that is socially acceptable is certainly not an easy task. It requires "a type of social intelligence that involves the ability to monitor one's own and others' emotions, discriminate among them, and to use the information to guide one's thinking and action" (Salovey and Sluyter 1997, quoted in DeJanasz et al., 2001, p.9). This social intelligence is what we call today as emotional intelligence or EQ.

Emotional intelligence is about developing an awareness of one's feelings and emotions to response appropriately according to the situation at hand. It requires skills like self-control, zeal, persistence, and motivation to adapt and navigate within a society.

According to experts in the field of behavioural studies, there are six fundamentals for achieving emotional intelligence. They are: self-awareness, self-regulation, motivation, empathy, social skills, and group work skills (DeJanasz et al., 2001, p.10).

Self-awareness requires the self-analysis of behaviour in understanding the way we conduct ourselves, our motivation, our modes of thinking, acting, and interacting. It includes understanding one's own personality or the relatively stable set of characteristics, tendencies, and temperaments formed by inheritance and by social, cultural, and environmental factors (Maddi 1980, p.10; DeJanasz et. al., 2001, p.4).

Self-regulation is about regulating oneself to adapt to situations, exercising discretion, cultivating trustworthiness, conscientiousness, innovativeness, with the ability to manage disruptive emotions and impulses.

Motivation is about what drives us to pursue one action over another. By understanding one's core drivers, whether positive or negative, one can discover the roots of one's behaviour and make adjustments necessary to modify it.

Empathy is the ability to understand others and putting oneself in the shoes of another, to read and respond to others' feelings.

Social skills relate to one's ability to interact smoothly in managing interpersonal relationships and the emotions of other people.

Group work skills focus primarily on organisational or communal collaboration and cooperation, teamwork, conflict management, and the willingness to work toward common goals.

Emotional intelligence is related to several personality traits such as conscientiousness, emotional stability, opennes to experience, agreeableness and the kinds. To some extent, EQ can be learnt but people in general do not naturally develop it by just understanding what it is. It requires coaching, constant practice, and adapting from others' feedback (McShane and Travaglione 2003, pp.125-126).

For a rough gauge of how you fair in emotional intelligence, take the quiz What's Your EQ?

REFERENCES
DeJanasz, S., Dowd, K., and Schneider, B. (2001), Interpersonal Skills in Organizations, Irwin, McGraw-Hill.
Maddi, S.R. (1980), Personality Theories: A Comparative Analysis. 4th edn. Homewood, Il, Dorsey Press.
McShane, S. and Travaglione, T. (2003), Organisational Behaviour on the Pacific Rim. NSW, McGraw-Hill.
Salovey, P. and Sluyter, D. (1997), eds., Emotional Development and Emotional Intelligence: Educational Implications. New York, Basic Books.

Element of Air

Your Element Is Air

You dislike conflict, and you've been able to rise above the angst of the world. And when things don't go your way, you know they'll blow over quickly. Easygoing, you tend to find joy from the simple things in life. You roll with the punches, and as a result, your life is light and cheerful. You find it easy to adapt to most situations, and you're an open person. With you, what you see is what you get... and people love that!

What's Your Element?

Discovering Your Personality Traits

Not long ago I wrote on the subject of Personality Traits and a few people have asked me whether there are tests that can help a person discover oneself. There are of course many methods of evaluating oneself through personality tests, but there is no one particular place or site that dare claims to provide a complete analysis of a person's personality in uncovering one's strengths and weaknesses in entirety. A good start in understanding oneself is to take a simple test such as What Number Are You?.

Using this test I discovered myself to be a peacemaker who is emotionally stable and willing to find common ground with others. My friends and family often look to me to be the mediator when there is conflict and I am generally easy going and accepting. I take things as they come and avoid conflict most of the time. I am content when things are calm.

This reading or analysis to some extent expresses my sentiments and knowing this fact helps reaffirm the understanding of myself. Understanding self however is just the first step. If a person is starting on a career, this information may help direct the right direction to bridge the gap, but if the person is mid way through a career or finishing his or her dues, this test remains an analysis for knowledge because one cannot in real life change a career to become a social worker or peacemaker to serve all mankind because of a discovery of self. To what end then is the purpose of personality tests?

In my opinion, personality tests are only for discovering self for the purpose of understanding one's own character. In understanding one's character, one can then adjust and change to adapt to the situations one face in his or her environment. Hence if you ask me about personality tests, I will say there are plenty out there on the Internet, but if you ask what you can do in discovering your personality, the answer depends on where you are at in life and in what situations you are in, and from there it is up to you to see what next steps to take.

From the way the test works, it appears the number scored doesn't really matter. It's just a reference to associate the type of personality a person majors. What matters is the description of the character. Does it describe you accurately? Accuracy of the test result is dependent on how true you are in answering the questions and how well you know yourself. If an answer is in the borderline, you'll need to pick one that is most frequently true and what's closest in describing you.

As a suggestion, you may want to consider taking the test at different days and at different time of the day because your feelings probably differ when you are busy, angry, or when sad. Results can differ depending on mood too!

Have fun discovering yourself and let me know your results! :D

My Personality Trait

I've just taken a personality test and found I score a 9 with description closely resembling my true self!

You Are the Peacemaker

9
You are emotionally stable and willing to find common ground with others. Your friends and family often look to you to be the mediator when there is conflict. You are easy going and accepting. You take things as they come. Avoiding conflict at all costs, you're content when things are calm.

What number are you?
On a different day in a different mood, I score 1 as a Reformer ... JANUARY 14, 2005

You Are the Reformer

1

You're a responsible person - with a clear sense of right and wrong. High standards are important to you, and you do everything to meet them. You are your own worst critic, feeling ashamed if you're not perfect. You have the highest integrity, and people expect you to be fair.

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Prejudices

If a mobile phone rings during a seminar attended despite a prior request by the organisers to turn off all phones, which group of people will immediately come to mind to blame? Is it the youngsters or the adults?

The scenario described above is fairly common and often happened in public meetings. The fact that we almost always blame the younger attendees for the nuisance phone interruption illustrates the prejudices all of us possess to some degree or to a great degree. We always think negatively of people of a certain group based on race, age, occupation, financial status, or the kinds. For example, when we look at people of a particular race, we often feel certain the types of behaviour to expect. We assume a certain group of people frequently spit on the floor and we constantly view negatively of another group of people who constantly block passageways. Which group of people do we assume are not educated?

Preconceived ideas of people within a certain group although can be generally true at times, are in reality not the entire truth. Not all people of a certain group or genre behave in the way we think they usually behave. People are not robots. They are not programmed to behave in specific ways. Some may have accumulated bad habits as a result of the society or culture they live in, but not all are the same because individuals change and vary in behaviour. No two persons are created the same.

The next time we meet a person, try not to jump to conclusion or think negatively of that particular person. Always ask the question, are the assumptions we have of them prejudices or are they true. If the answer is prejudice, then erase it out from the mind, and view the person as someone yet to be discovered. If the answer is true, then consider whether he or she may have changed. Learn to give others second chances. Never ever coin a person by the group he or she is in or by the people he or she associates.

Personality Traits

Personality traits in people are primarily made up of four types of temperaments: sanguine, choleric, melancholy, and phlegmatic. Generally most people fall into one or two main types of temperament, however, there are exceptions where a person may possess hybrid personalities.

Understanding personality traits helps a person understand his or her character, and the character of others. Character concerns our true selves, while "personality is the outward expression of ourselves which may or may not be the same as our character" (LaHaye 1983:6) depending on how genuine we portray ourselves to others. Personality often is just a pleasing facade for an unpleasant or weak character. By learning about our temperaments, we can adjust and change for the better and it is to this end that this article is being written to help readers understand themselves in making changes and planning a course of action for the right career.

Sanguine is what we usually termed as a person with an outgoing personality who likes to mix with everybody. Sanguine often speaks before thinking and is hearty by nature. Extrovert, spontaneous, and often naïve, sanguine tends not to see the big picture of things but lives for the current. Sanguine is good at telling stories and is blessed with the gift of the gap. Weaknesses of sanguine include restlessness, weak-willed, egotistic, and emotional instability. Sanguine make good salespersons, actors, and public speakers.

Choleric is one who commands or likes to command. Often with hot temperament, choleric is strong-willed, self-sufficient, decisive, opinionated, and makes decisions for oneself and for others. Choleric thrives on activities and is not frightened by adversities. Quick to recognise opportunities and diagnosing solutions to problems, choleric possesses a well-organised mind which make them good managers and supervisors, although they may not be the best persons to understand how their staff work to achieve their goals. Weaknesses of choleric include insensitivity to subordinates, domineering, bossy, manipulative, and failure to see areas of potential pitfalls.

Melancholy is analytical, self-sacrificing, gifted, perfectionist, with sensitive emotional nature. Melancholy is prone to be introvert and often gives in to a variety of moods. Mood swings can either lift the melancholy to heights or at times to gloom and depression. When in good mood, the melancholy can become more extrovert in behaviour, but when in gloom withdraws oneself and become antagonistic. Melancholy person is a very faithful friend, but does not make friends easily. Melancholy person is dependable and expects very high standards on self and sometimes of others. Experiences of disappointments however tend to make the melancholy reluctant to see people at face value. Melancholy person possesses analytical mind, evaluates, plans and sees far into the future in understanding possible problems and pitfalls that may be encountered. Weaknesses of melancholy include self-centeredness, pessimism, moodiness and revengeful nature. Life vocation chosen by the melancholy tends to involve great personal sacrifice which makes good support staff and the types.

Phlegmatic is described by Hippocrates as one that possesses "calm, cool, slow, easy-going, well-balanced temperament" (cited in LaHaye 1983:21). Circumstances cannot ruffle the phlegmatic who can withhold a high boiling point, seldom exploding in anger or laughter. Emotions of phlegmatic are kept in control. Kind hearted and sympathetic, the phlegmatic seldom conveys his true feelings. Phlegmatic tends to be a spectator in life and tries not to get too involved with the activities of others. When put in a position for action, phlegmatic proves to be capable and efficient person. Weaknesses of phlegmatic include slowness, laziness, stubbornness, indecision, and teasing. Phlegmatic makes good diplomat, accountant, teacher, leader, scientist, or other meticulous-type of work.

Now that you understand the four temperaments of the different personality traits, evaluate yourself and discuss at this blog what you think is your type of personality. Plan out actions that can help minimise weaknesses.

REFERENCE
LaHaye, Tim (1983), Spirit-Controlled Temperament, Asian Edition. Hong Kong: Tien Dao Publishing House

Spider Web

Have you ever walk through a spider web accidentally because you are unable to see or are not aware of its presence? If you have not, you should try it someday. It is quite an experience, and the feeling of it is really 'great', especially when it is at your face.

Removing the web from your face or body does not exactly come easy, and sometimes if you are not aware, the spider may still be hanging to its line of web silk and eventually reside in your clothes somewhere.

Apart from cobwebs, spiders are actually quite loveable. Most spiders are not harmful creatures. In fact, house spiders can be helpful in getting rid of unwanted insects. In ancient times, the Greeks use cobwebs to apply to wounds, which is an effective way to stop excessive bleeding. Research by 19th-century doctors confirmed that spiders coat their silk with antiseptic agents. It was spider webs that French scientist Rene Reaumur came up with the idea of making paper from wood. In the 19th century, astronomers used spider silk as cross-hairs on their telescopes and in World War II, gunsights and bombsights, range finders and transits, telescopes and microscopes were all using spider silk.

Today, scientists are looking at the amazing structural properties of spider webs to be used in airplanes and bridges, clothing, body armor, and cable.

REFERENCES:
Berenbaum, M., "Spin Control". The Sciences, Vol. 35, No. 5, September/October 1995, pp. 13-15.
Lienhard, J., "Epidsode 1069: A Spider's Web", The Engines of Our Ingenuity. Houston: University of Houston, 2004.
Preston-Mafham, R., and Preston-Mafham, K., Spiders of the World. New York: Facts On File Publications, 1984.